


Epiphany

by steinsgrrl



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Humor, M/M, Romance, Threesome - F/M/M, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 19:15:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/995536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steinsgrrl/pseuds/steinsgrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Georg is terrified when he realizes the extent of his feelings for Bill. He can only run for so long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Georg watched the singer from the side of the stage.

Blackness enveloped the stadium, and the crowd roared around them, frantically urging the band to continue. The bassist’s eyes followed him as Bill trotted to the middle of the stage and stopped. The lion-maned rock star threw his head back, his eyes closed tightly. Georg stopped breathing, taken in by the singer’s beautiful, almost orgasmic expression. Watching Bill soak up the love and adoration that poured from the audience felt like he was intruding on a very private moment. He felt a little twist in his belly and took an unconscious step toward the singer.

One beat…

Two beats…

Three beats…

Four beats…

The stage lights flashed brightly in his eyes as Bill began to sing again, and Georg was suddenly blinded. He tried to hide his pain by squinting and looking down at his bass, but as soon as he could, he was searching again for Bill’s lithe figure.

The boys had always taken energy and encouragement from each other on stage. Along with the screaming crowd, their grins and nods to each other pumped them up. Bill danced and strutted to each one of them in turn, gyrating in front of Gustav’s drums, grinding playfully against Tom, and singing to Georg. But lately, Georg realized that the air changed, became electric, when Bill came to his side of the stage. He began to spend less time watching the girls in the front rows and more time watching Bill. He began to wait for the moments when Bill was closer to him, just to feel that jump in his belly, just to feel that catch in his breath, just to breathe Bill’s air. 

Even when it looked like he wasn’t watching, he was.

~~~~oooo~~~~

Four weary boys trudged up the stairs into the bus later that night. The concert had gone really well, and they were still pumped when they came off the stage. They had decided to play some table tennis to relax a little bit, but after a few games, they realized they were exhausted. All they wanted to do was get back to the bus and collapse.

Tom headed immediately for his bunk, cell phone already flipped open and dialing. Georg and Gustav plopped down in the media room and Bill made straight for the shower. Bill was not one to ever sit around in sweaty clothes, and if his make-up wasn’t perfect, it had to come off.

Gustav grabbed the remote control for their new satellite system.

“What are you in the mood for?” he asked Georg, while flipping quickly through the channels.

“Nothing, man. I really don’t care,” Georg sighed.

Trying to play well, put on a good show for the audience, and keep up with Bill for two hours had zapped all his energy. He just wanted to hang out, relax, and let his mind wander. Unfortunately, his mind just wanted to wander back to Bill in the shower. The image of a wet, naked Bill flashed through his head and to his dismay, not only did his stomach flip, his groin started to tighten.

Georg caught his breath and sat up quickly, a surprised look on his face. Gustav glanced over at him, “What’s up with you?”

“It’s…uh, nothing. Really. I think I strained a muscle up there tonight.” Georg blushed and looked down.

“You better have your shower next then. See if you can relax and work that kink out.” Gustav offered.

Georg swallowed a groan. _Yeah,_ he thought, picturing Bill in the shower again, _maybe I do have a kink that needs working out._ He shook his head, amazed he had thought such a thing, wondering when he’d started having these perverted thoughts about his friend.

Georg had known Bill since Bill was all of eleven years old, and Georg was just a couple years older. He’d always thought of Bill as one of his best friends, almost a little brother. How had he come to see Bill as something alluring? Something beautiful? Something sacred?

“What are you watching?” Bill asked from the doorway, startling Georg. His head whipped around to see Bill dressed again, in a blue track suit. His face was scrubbed clean of make-up and his hair dripped water on him as he climbed over Georg to sit next to him.

“We haven’t decided. Georg is too tired to care, and I guess I am, too,” Gustav placed the remote in the center of the table, “You guys watch whatever you want. I’m going to bed.”

Before either of them could respond, Gustav was out the door, and Georg was suddenly alone with Bill. And achingly aware of how good Bill smelled, how good he looked. 

Bill grabbed the remote and started flipping through channels himself. Facing the television at the end of the bus, he looked back over his shoulder at Georg, 

“I’m in the mood for a good scary movie. How about you?”

Georg swallowed hard, trying to find his voice. Finally he croaked, “Yeah, whatever you want.”

Bill turned again to look inquisitively at him, “Are you alright? You don’t sound so good.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just…strained a muscle tonight, “ Georg replied, pulling a face.

“Hmm..” Bill smiled and the bassist melted. “Maybe you should go take your shower. That will loosen you right up. It always works for me.”

Georg began to choke a little and covered it with a cough. Bill raised an eyebrow at him.

“No,” Georg said, “I’m okay.” He chuckled lightly, “Let’s find a movie.”

Bill shrugged and turned back toward the television. He settled on a channel playing a new torture flick, drew his knees up to his chest, and lay his head on the back of the seat. Georg found himself again watching Bill. Such a different Bill than the rock star he saw on stage every other night. This Bill was not fierce. This Bill was silly and made everyone laugh. This Bill was sweet and generous. This Bill was soft, almost fragile.

Georg found himself staring at the soft skin of Bill’s neck, right below his ear. His fingers itched to reach out and softly stroke that tantalizing spot. His fingers knew how that would feel and it was everything he could do not to bridge that distance. He had the urge to bury his nose in Bill’s neck, to discover the heady scent that was just Bill. He wanted to taste that spot. His tongue knew how Bill would taste, and he had to…

Georg’s hand suddenly seemed to have a will of it’s own, and he found himself reaching out to touch the skin he had been craving.

Bill turned his head to look at Georg and Georg’s hand froze. What was he doing? Panicking a little and trying to cover his gesture, Georg put his hand on Bill’s shoulder as he hoisted himself off the couch.

“You know, I think you’re right. I’m gonna go take that shower now.”

Bill feigned outrage, “What the hell, Georg? You’re gonna leave me in here to watch a horror movie alone? You know I won’t sleep tonight!”

Georg laughed, “Yeah, I’m so mean to you, I know. But I’ll take pity on you and get Tom to come baby-sit.”

Bill grinned at him, “Thanks. How sweet of you,” and stuck his tongue out at him. His tongue-stud glinted, and Georg turned away quickly. 

He realized that his stomach was queasy as he headed back to the bunks to talk to Tom. His adrenaline had really been pumping from the close call with Bill. He made himself stop and take a deep breath, trying to calm down. 

_Just go shower,_ he thought, _get away from Bill for tonight. You’re just tired, you haven’t been with a girl in a while. Things will be different in the morning._

~~~~oooo~~~~

But when Georg was in the shower, all he could think of was Bill in the shower.   
He didn’t want to, but he did.

And the more he thought of Bill in the shower, the harder his dick got.  
He didn’t want it to, but it did.

And when he couldn’t stand the aching in his groin anymore, he stroked himself slowly.  
And when his strokes sped up and his balls tightened, he held his breath, and was afraid he would come sighing Bill’s name.

He didn’t want to, but he did.


	2. Chapter 2

Georg groaned as the sun beamed mercilessly through his little bunk window and right into his eyes. He squeezed his eyelids tight and flopped over, praying for a few more hours of sleep. But it was too late; he had woken up enough he could feel his bladder ready to overflow. He sighed, knowing once he was up, he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.

The bus seemed to shift a little as he crawled out of his bunk. They weren’t moving, but Georg was so tired that he still swayed slightly when he stood up. He’d gone right to bed after his shower, feeling embarrassed by his reaction to Bill. He didn’t think he could handle being anywhere but his bunk after that.

Still, Georg had found himself lying awake long after Bill had gone to bed, and had finally fallen asleep just a few hours before the sun had come up.

Unsteadily making his way to the bathroom, his thoughts settled again on these feelings he had developed. They must have built up so slowly that when he recognized his desire, he was overwhelmed with shock and fear.

It didn’t matter. There was nothing he could do about what he was feeling. Bill was his friend, he’d argued with himself. There was no way he could let his feelings get in the way of that friendship. Even if the sight of Bill made his belly twist deliciously. Even if Bill’s musk and sandalwood scent made his dick so hard that it hurt. Even if the slightest touch of Bill’s soft hand could steal the breath from his chest. Georg knew that he couldn’t let some silly crush jeopardize what they’d worked so hard to achieve. 

As he finished up in the bathroom, he sighed again, not relishing the thought of having to go out that morning and trying to pretend that everything was normal when he was feeling anything but normal. He dressed slowly, took a deep breath, and went to find breakfast.

~~~~ooo~~~~

Tom staggered out of his bunk in the early afternoon.

“Hey,” he nodded toward Georg, “Coffee?”

Georg pointed toward the kitchenette. He didn’t bother to remove the headphones he’d been using to listen to a dvd on his laptop. The bassist knew it would be a while before Tom would be awake and civil enough to talk to anyone, anyway.

Georg had scouted out the most comfortable chair he could find to watch the new Angelina Jolie movie. He thought she was hot and had been looking forward to this movie for some time. It seemed he was too comfortable and warm, though, and before long, the laptop screen started to blur as his heavy eyelids closed. Not even his head falling against the back of the chair was enough to stir him.

The movie finished, and through the silence and dark curtain of his slumber, Georg became aware of a pressure against his thigh. As he started to awaken, he sensed a presence hovering over him…and smelled Bill.

His eyes flew open with a start, and he found Bill leaning over him. Georg inhaled sharply; his lips were just a breath away from Bill’s neck. Scared to move, scared of what he might do, Georg froze.

Bill sensed the tension coming from the man who had been sleeping so peacefully moments before, and pulled back to look in Georg’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, noting the frightened look in the bassist’s eyes, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He flashed Georg a warm smile.

Georg’s heart melted at the sight of the raven beauty so close to him. Bill was dressed for the day, his hair down but fluffy and his face made up flawlessly. Bill’s breath caressed his cheeks, and Georg felt the heat spread from his heart to his loins. He made a small, desperate noise in the back of his throat and his hands came up to grasp Bill’s small waist. Before they could reach their target, Bill reached back over Georg’s lap to the side table beyond and retrieved his own laptop.

“I just wanted to get this,” Bill smiled again and stood up. Georg’s hands dropped quickly, and he prayed Bill hadn’t noticed. As the singer turned and walked away, Georg exhaled loudly. His blood was singing in his veins, but Georg was more scared than ever.

The bassist bolted up from his seat, barely catching the laptop before it hit the floor. He threw his headphones off and into the chair with the laptop, and went in search of Tom. He needed to get out of here. He needed to find a gorgeous, willing woman to take his mind off the man he wanted so desperately. Tom was always up for a night on the town. And women were drawn to Tom like children to candy.

Georg found the dreadlocked blonde in the media room, watching music television with the sound down. Tom glanced over at him as he plopped down on the opposite couch.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty! Check out the ass on this chick!”

Georg could hardly focus on the screen and the dancer Tom was drooling over,

“Yeah. Hot,” he said with little enthusiasm, “You wanna hit some clubs tonight? I need to get out of here, and I could definitely use a treat like that, “ he gestured to the big screen.

Tom chuckled and stabbed his thumb over the remote control’s power button,

“Definitely. We’re on.”

 

~~~ooo~~~

From the corner of their dark booth, Georg and Tom could see the entire dance floor, and more importantly, the girls on it. Scantily-clad women of all colors, ages and shapes were grooving and grinding against laughing girlfriends. Their heads were thrown back, drowning in the ecstasy the music poured into them. Purple and blue lights danced over the girls, spotlighting tantalizingly exposed skin, and George realized that he could have his pick of anyone out there. _Time to dive in,_ he thought.

“I’m off to get another drink. Wanna do a shot?” he offered as he slid out of the booth.

“Yeah. Tequila with a setup and another beer. The same for the lady,” Tom answered, then buried his face again in the neck of the busty blonde attached to his waist.

Georg decided to get a closer look at the girls on the dance floor, and the journey to the bar felt like foreplay. Writhing bodies pressed against him; anonymous, deviant hands caressed him with soft, secret strokes. His breath quickened and he was glad when he reached the calm sanctuary of the bar.

Georg placed their order and as he turned to see if he could find a less pornographic path back to their booth, he bumped into the women standing too close behind him. He caught himself and rocked back on his feet.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you were there!” George apologized quickly.

While the other two girls giggled, the third smirked at him. She had long, chestnut hair and looked deadly in a green, low-cut tank top and black jeans. When his eyes made their way back up to her blue ones, she tilted her head at him,

“The idea is to sweep us off our feet, not knock us off them,” she said, and winked at him.

 _Witty,_ he thought _, and feisty._ He liked feisty. He was about to ask her to join them when the bartender tapped him on the shoulder,

“Order’s up.”

Georg paid quickly and turned around with his tray of tequila and beer. She was gone. He scanned the crowd, expecting she couldn’t have gone far, but she had vanished. He shrugged and carefully navigated his way through a less crowded section of the club. 

Tom was still making out with Malibu Barbie. Georg noticed she had succulent lips around Tom’s earlobe, and Tom’s hand was inside the front of her tank top. Georg kicked the booth next to the oblivious pair.

“Hey!” he laughed, setting the tray of drinks on the table, “Come up for air and do this shot with me.”

Tom sat back, laughing and breathing hard. The blond blushed a deep pink.

Tom and Georg enjoyed the ritual of doing a shot of tequila, but it was not something Barbie had tried before. Tom passed out the shots and setups; he was going to teach her.

“Ready?” he looked at the girl sitting so close to him she was almost sitting in his lap. She giggled and nodded.

“Let’s do this,” he said. Tom showed her his hand and pointed to the area below his thumb, “First, you have to lick here.”

Barbie grabbed Tom’s hand and suckled his palm wetly. Tom turned to Georg, eyes wide and a smile blooming on his face,

“I like this one!”

Georg burst out in a belly laugh and he watched Tom turn to Barbie and lick her palm in turn.

“Now salt it,” Tom instructed, and he tapped a layer of coarse crystals over the wet spot on his hand. He salted hers, too, and Georg followed with his own.

“Have your lemon ready to grab so you can suck on it right after the shot. Ready?” Tom asked. Barbie nodded.

“Now you’re ready for the tequila,” he said. They picked up their shot glasses and the boys leaned toward each other,

“To beautiful women!” Georg toasted, winking at Barbie.

“To beautiful, willing women!” Tom corrected. 

Barbie blushed a deeper shade of pink and giggled as she clinked her glass with the boys’.

“Now lick the salt, drink the tequila fast and suck that lemon!” Tom said, and threw his head back as the shot slid down his throat. Barbie and Georg quickly followed suit.

As he watched Tom pick up his lemon slice and shove the sour flesh between Barbie’s gasping lips, Georg reached for his own lemon.

His fingers never found it. Instead, he spotted the girl from the bar. She was on the dance floor with her friends, very near them. Georg choked and sputtered while he watched the three girls dancing sensually with each other. The two blondes had sandwiched the brunette between them, the one behind ground her groin against the darker girl’s ass. 

The blonde in front had wedged a knee between the girl’s legs, and dirty danced with her, grinding her hip against the brunette’s crotch. All the while, the blondes were caressing each other around their friend.

Georg reached blindly again for the lemon wedge and brought it, dripping, to his lips. _Yeah,_ he thought as his groin tightened, _that’s the one I need_.

He sucked the wedge dry as his eyes caressed every inch of the girl he was determined to fuck.


	3. Chapter 3

Georg boarded the elevator, one arm wrapped tightly around the waist of the hot brunette from the club. 

He grinned a little when he thought of how easy it had been to get her to abandon her friends and leave with him. He had yelled to Tom that he was leaving; Tom was so busy playing with his blond, he hadn‘t even realized Georg was still there. The bassist slammed the last of his beer and went to cut in on the trio’s dance.

Georg didn’t say a word when he reached the girls. He snaked an arm between the brunette and the blond in front of her. All three turned to look, but when the one he wanted flashed a coy smile at him, the other two shrugged and moved off to caress each other alone.

He wrapped both arms around her, and he could feel the heat coming off her. Though the music had a faster hip-hop beat, Georg started their dance slowly. She looked up, caught by his gaze. Every other beat, he would sensually slide their hips one way, then the other, thrusting carefully against her each time. His hands traveled up her sides until his fingers spanned her ribcage, and his thumbs softly caressed the cloth covering the bottom of her breasts. He could feel the small noise she made, rather than hear it, and she finally drug her eyes from his to press herself completely against him. 

Georg smoothed his hands around her back, holding her to him as they continued their slow grind. He brought his lips down to her neck where it meets the shoulder, and pressed them to the soft, fragrant flesh. _She smells nothing like Bill_ , he thought.

He stiffened slightly. The point of this was to forget about Bill. And, damn, this girl felt good!

He let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, and slid his hands down to cup her pert ass. She sighed into his ear and he opened his lips to taste the spot he’d just kissed. Breath coming faster, he murmured in her ear,

“What’s your name?”

“Jessie,” she replied lowly.

“Jessie, I’m Georg.”

“I know,” she pulled back to look at him again.

She knew. Well, of course she knew. Georg wondered if he’d get half the action he did if he weren’t famous. Using one hand to pull her hair back, Georg put his lips to her ear,

“Jessie, do you want to get out of here?”

~~~ooo~~~

Saki had driven them to a hotel, arranged for the room, and escorted them upstairs. 

Georg thanked him with a nod, and stepped off the elevator. It didn’t take long to find his room, but it was a little difficult to unlock the door with Jessie’s arms thrown around his neck, trying to pull his head down for a kiss.

He chuckled at her impatience, managed to swing the door open and grabbed the back of her head as his lips came down hotly on hers. The arm around her waist lifted her off her feet and he stumbled with her into the room far enough to close the door behind them. As he set her down, he barely had time to throw the lock home before he found himself pushed up against the door. 

Jessie stopped and looked up at him with a smirk and a twinkle in her eyes. She leaned forward very slowly, bringing cherry-colored lips so close he could feel her breath on his lips. He brought his head down to meet her half way, but she stopped him with a tiny shake of her head. Her pretty mouth formed a wicked smile and her tongue darted out. She flicked his bottom lip with the wet, pink tip.

Georg’s eyes widened and he held his breath. But Jessie didn’t kiss him. Instead, she slid down his body to kneel in front of him. He stood motionless and watched her fingers deftly undo his belt and pull it through the loops, removing it with a flourish.

She slowly and deliberately unbuttoned his jeans. Looking at him from beneath her lashes, she grasped the tab of his zipper. He could hear the teeth separating, pair by pair. Georg let out a low moan. She was going so slowly, her movements so sensual, that just taking his jeans off was delicious torture.

Jessie reached the bottom of the zipper, but she didn’t put him out of his misery. She opened the front of his jeans, pulled down the front of his briefs and pressed her open lips to the skin she'd just exposed. Georg groaned as he felt her warm breath, then hot mouth on the sensitive skin. He brought his hands to her head and ran his fingers through her hair. Her tongue licked at him, her lips sucked at him, until even she could take it no longer.

Jessie grabbed the waist of Georg’s pants and pulled them down to his knees all at once. His aching erection finally escaped the confining clothing, and Georg sighed in relief, only to drag his breath in harshly as she wrapped her hand around his girth.

He watched her, willing her to continue as she stopped, looked at his dick and hummed in her throat. She parted her lush lips and lapped slowly underneath the sensitive tip of his cock.

He felt the hot metal of her tongue stud sliding against his burning flesh. He threw his head back against the door, eyes closed tightly. _Dear God, how did I not noticed that before_ , he thought. Now he could only see Bill on his knees in front of him, Bill looking up at him, Bill sucking his cock.

Georg groaned deeply as she swallowed his length completely, and banged his head twice against the door. He felt her suck her cheeks in around him, and when she swallowed and he felt her throat close around the head of his cock, he thought he might lose it right then.

Jessie made a noise of protest as Georg suddenly pulled her mouth from his aching flesh.

“Come on,” he rasped, pulling her up, “I’m going to finish too soon with you doing that.”

She giggled breathily and lifted her tank over her head as Georg slipped off his shoes and disposed of his jeans. His tee quickly followed, and he grabbed her hand, pulling Jessie to the edge of the bed. 

Georg wanted Jessie to much that it hurt. At that moment, it seemed he could almost forget about Bill. Almost. 

He clamped his lips over Jessie’s and sucked her tongue into his mouth. They kissed wetly as Georg unclasped her bra and slid it down her arms. He couldn’t go as slowly as she; he was much too desperate to be inside her. He licked and sucked her neck from her ear to her shoulder as he undid her jeans, and she hung on to his broad shoulders when he sat on the bed to slip them off her.

Hands grasping her ass, Georg pulled Jessie forward until his lips settled chaste kisses on her hip. Chaste kisses became wet kisses, and wet kisses turned into his hot tongue laving up the inside of her trembling thigh. He ran a finger down the edge of her white lace panties, and followed with his tongue, until it reached the wetness that seeped between the threads. Long, scorching licks had her digging her fingers into his shoulders, until he finally pulled the lace aside, sucking weeping flesh into his mouth, tonguing her clit until she couldn't breathe. 

Breathing hard, lips glistening, Georg reached up to pull her face down to him. Her lips crashed down on his, and he sucked her tongue into his mouth, making sure she could taste herself on him.

He pulled back, holding her head. “Wait right there.”

She looked confused as he ran to the door where his jeans lay, but she nodded when he returned with a familiar foil packet.

Georg lay back on the bed, opened the packet and rolled on the condom. 

“Come here, Jessie,” he held his arms out, inviting her to climb on his lap. She wasted no time, crawling up and throwing her leg over him, planting a knee on each side of his hips. Both his hands reached up to cup her ample breasts as she positioned herself over his straining cock. She was so wet, so hot, and he gasped as she impaled herself on him in one thrust.

Jessie mewled in her throat and began to move on him, grinding slowly and rolling her hips. Georg knew this wasn’t going to last long. She leaned down on him, flattening her breasts against his chest and kissed him deeply. He could feel her tongue-stud again, and that was his undoing. He grunted and closed his eyes. Even with his dick buried deep inside this beautiful woman, he couldn’t escape the thought of Bill, and what Georg wanted to do with him.

He couldn’t stop seeing Bill above him, couldn’t stop imagining his cock was buried in Bill’s tight heat. He'd tried so hard, tried to make this not about Bill. Georg groaned in frustration, his eyes still tightly closed, and pushed Jessie back up over him. It was Bill’s waist he wrapped his hands around. It was Bill he held up as he thrust hard into him. And it was Bill’s voice he heard chanting his name as the scorching flesh around his dick contracted again and again. So when Georg gasped, bucked his hips frantically, and came hard, it was Bill’s name he breathed.


	4. Chapter 4

Georg stumbled out of the bunk area, hair ratted around his head, eyes blurry. He made his way to the kitchenette, not really noticing who was already up. All he could think about was having a cigarette and getting some food in his stomach. It had again taken him forever to fall asleep, and when he finally did, his sleep was restless. He’d found himself awake several times, just staring through the blackness of his bunk. Finally, the sun’s rays began to pinken up the sky, taking pity on him and giving him leave to abandon his attempts at sleeping. 

He found his cigarettes on the counter of the kitchenette, opened the package and shook one out. He lit it quickly as he slid heavily into the booth. Breakfast could wait until he’d had his fix. Georg knew it was a horrible habit, and he always planned on giving it up, but there never seemed to be a right time. The band was always so busy, always on the move, always under so much pressure that Georg never felt that he could get a grasp on his addiction. _Maybe next time we have a vacation_ , he thought, and closed his eyes while he inhaled the acrid smoke deeply.

“What are you doing up so early?” Gustav asked from behind him, and startled Georg enough that he almost dropped his cigarette.

“You scared the hell out of me!” Georg laughed, giving himself a moment to recover. Gustav fixed himself a bowl of cereal and slid into the booth opposite Georg. His eyes were still pinned on the bassist. 

“Well?” Gustav brought a spoonful of milk-drenched flakes to his mouth, “You never get up this early. Especially after you’ve been out with Tom.” 

Georg didn’t answer. He looked out the window, but his eyes saw nothing of the countryside whizzing by. His stomach was roiling around so hard, he was glad he hadn’t put anything in it yet. He’d have definitely thrown it up. The urge to tell Gustav his troubles was so strong; his mouth was full of it. The idea equally appealed to him and scared the shit out of him. 

He glanced quickly at the stocky drummer, and found him to be chewing thoughtfully, obviously still waiting for an answer. Finally, Gustav shrugged and reached for his new music magazine he’d been working through reading each morning when he was alone and the bus was peaceful. 

“I’m scared” Georg whispered.

“Pardon?” Gustav paused and looked up at Georg.

Georg cleared his throat and looked around the bus. He didn’t need anyone else to hear this.

“I couldn’t sleep because I’m scared.” He paused, not really sure how to start or even what to say to explain how crazy his thoughts have been lately. Or worse yet, what he wanted to do about those thoughts.

“You’re having nightmares?” Gustav chuckled. “Maybe you should stop watching those disgusting torture movies right before bed. Bill told me about the one you guys watched the other night.”

Georg snorted and took another deep drag from his cigarette, now almost spent. The grey smoke streamed out his nose, and Gustav shot him a dirty look, waving the air in front of him.

“If you guys have to smoke on the bus, I wish you wouldn’t do it while I’m eating.” 

“Sorry.” Georg snuffed out the butt and moved the ashtray to the counter with his cigarettes. “I’m not having nightmares, Gustav.”

Gustav stopped eating and looked at Georg with a questioning look. Georg fidgeted with his lighter, tapping it on the table, flicking the roller and making it light. He watched the flame that it produced, watched it dance, then go out. He glanced up at Gustav, his friend. He would understand, right? Georg had to take a chance, because he really couldn’t live with this alone any longer. 

“I’m not sure how to talk about this, so bear with me, okay?” he laughed quietly, nervously. 

“Whatever you need, man. When you’re ready.” Gustav put his spoon down and waited.

Georg blew out a long breath. “Okay, it’s like this. I have a …well, I guess you could call it a crush. No, it seems like more than a crush. Every time I’m around this person, I can’t think, I can’t breathe. I want to hide, because I am afraid I am too obvious, and I don’t want this person to know how I feel. I’m just so confused.” It all came out in a rush, and now that he’d spilled it, he was even more nervous. _There’s no way I can tell him who it is. I just can’t._

“Georg, I’ve never known you to be shy before. Why can’t you just tell whoever she is how you feel?” Gustav looked like he’d given Georg the solution, and he thought the conversation must be done. He picked up his spoon to take another bite of his now soggy cereal.

“Gus, it’s a guy.” Georg whispered again. He covered his eyes with one hand and wrapped the other arm around himself, not wanting to see the expression on his friend’s face, not wanting him to see the fear on his own face. “The person I am obsessed with is a guy.”

Gustav’s spoon stopped half-way to his mouth again. The blonde brought his head up to look at Georg again, his eyes wide, his mouth gaping. He quickly regained his composure, though, and closed his mouth. It wouldn’t help Georg at all if he saw that Gustav was shocked by his statement. 

The silence stretched out for long, pregnant moments as Gustav processed Georg’s announcement. There had never been a question of Georg’s sexuality. He’d always been the one to go out with Tom to the clubs, and he’d never wanted for a hook-up if he was in the mood for one. And now this. 

“For God’s sake, say something.” Georg groaned, still not looking at the other man. 

“Who is it?” 

“I can’t…I can’t tell you that.” Georg dropped his hand to look at Gustav again. 

Gustav looked uncomfortable and squirmed a bit in his seat. The atmosphere changed, and Georg felt it. “Fuck. I shouldn’t have told you. I should just keep this shit to myself.”

“No, no. I’m glad you told me. I’m just not sure exactly what to say.” Gustav paused and looked down, trying to gather his thoughts, before lifting his head and looking Georg in the eyes. “I just have one question before we go any further.”

“Yeah?” 

“Is it me?” Gustav’s voice was laced with trepidation. As soon as he asked the question, he could no longer look Georg in the eyes. Perhaps he didn’t want to hear the answer, but he had to ask.

Georg chuckled, “No, Gus, it’s not you.” As the chuckle dragged out and turned into a full-out laugh, the drummer became slightly indignant.

“Hey! What’s funny about that?” Gustav’s face blossomed pink, and he began to eat again to cover his embarrassment. 

“I’m sorry, man.” Georg’s laughter tapered off, “It’s not that there’s anything wrong with you. You’re just not my type.” he looked out the window again, “Jesus, I have a type?” 

Gustav snorted and avoided the bassist’s gaze. “Fine, fine. That’s fine. So, uh…I take it this guy would not feel the same way about you?”

“I don’t know if he would or not. I’m scared to death to find out. I’m scared he wouldn’t, and I’m scared he might. I’m not sure that this is an area I want to explore about myself.” He paused and reached up for his cigarettes again. 

Gustav watched as the stocky brunette performed the ritual of lighting and taking the first slow drag, blowing the smoke out away from his friend. Now certainly wasn’t the time to chastise him. 

Georg shot a quick glance at the drummer, then focused on the table in front of them. “I’m not sure that I want to do this, man, but I’m afraid that I have to. I can’t get him out of my head. I even tried hooking up with a seriously hot chick from the club the other night with Tom. Took her to a hotel, the whole deal. She was great, she really was. But, you know what?” he closed his eyes, continuing with a whisper, “When I closed my eyes, I could only see his face.”

“Georg, you know I don’t have any problem with—“ Gustav began, but was cut off by Bill staggering out from the bunks and making a beeline right for the kitchenette. Black coffee in the morning was like lifeblood for Bill, and he would neither be deterred or diverted so that the men at the table might finish their conversation. The drummer looked at the man across from him, intending to indicate to him that they would talk later. 

The bassist, however, had his eyes glued to Bill’s back as he poured himself coffee. His face was a little more flushed than it had been moments before, and he turned to Gustav with widened eyes. “I gotta go, um…shower. Thanks, Gus”

He crushed his cigarette out quickly, and with one more lingering glance at Bill, he fled to the bathroom. Left behind at the table, Gustav looked quickly toward the bathroom, then back at Bill. Realization dawned on him, and his eyes went wide.

Bill turned to sit in the spot Georg had just vacated. “What’s up with him?”

Gustav looked at Bill, not processing a single thing but what he’d just discovered about his friend. 

“Whoa.”


	5. Chapter 5

Tom trotted off the stage, grabbed a towel and caught up to Georg, who had left the stage moments before. Both were out of breath, panting hard. They shared a glance and grinned at each other, still high on adrenaline from the show.

Tom smacked the bassist on the shoulder, “Hey, wanna hang out tonight? There’s a club I want to check out. Maybe I‘ll find a nice, intelligent girl. With really big tits.” Tom winked at him. 

Georg laughed, “Is that all you think about?”

Tom pulled the towel from his shoulders and, holding each end, began to twirl it. “Is there anything else worth thinking about?” He snapped the towel and it bit Georg in the ass. 

The older man yelped and gave chase after the wiry guitarist. Tom ran to the dressing room and tried to quickly close the door. He was laughing so hard he couldn’t hold it closed when Georg caught up and shoved it open. Tom ran to the other side of the room, fell onto the couch and curled up in a ball, begging for mercy. The bassist advanced on him with a gleam in his eye and a twisted towel in his hands. 

Georg heard a snicker from behind him, and before he could turn around, Bill snapped his own towel and got Georg in the ass again. 

“Dammit!” Georg laughed and spun around. Bill was standing behind him with a wide smile on his face, holding the offending weapon.

“That’s what you get for messing with twins.” Tom crowed, jumping up from the couch and grabbing the towel that had fallen to the floor. 

Neither of the other men heard him. Georg stared at the beautiful singer, laughter dying in his throat. Bill had left the stage just moments before Tom and Georg. He was sweaty, his clothes sticking to his lithe body, his makeup running just a little. Georg saw none of that. 

What he saw was the curve of Bill’s neck, and he pictured himself licking his way up that curve. He saw the wild darkness of Bill’s hair, and wanted to run his fingers through it. He saw the soft lushness of Bill’s pink lips, and he yearned to taste them under his own. The playful grin slowly fell from Bill’s face as he took in the odd expression on the brunette’s face. 

“Georg?” Bill cocked his head. 

The bassist felt blood rush to his face, and he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. He grabbed his bag, brushed past the confused singer, and made for the exit. Security scrambled to keep up with him, but Georg wasn’t slowing down, and he certainly wasn’t stopping. 

In the quiet of the room he left behind, Tom looked to Bill. “What just happened here?”

“I don’t know.” the singer replied softly, staring at the door.

~~~ooo~~~

Georg glanced around the club. Tom had been pretty eager to check this place out, but he really couldn’t find much that was special about it. The girls here looked like the girls at any other club, and the music was just as bad. There was even the same big booth in the same dark corner, where the band could drink and loosen up in relative privacy.

Gustav returned from the bar carrying beer for everyone. He handed one to the bassist, who accepted the icy beverage gratefully and took a long pull from the bottle. He watched as Gustav handed out the rest of the beer, and his eyes came to rest on Bill, sitting in the corner next to his brother. Georg suddenly felt his stomach flip, and he had to put his beer on the table so he wouldn’t spill it.

Bill was watching him. This wasn’t just a single glance. Bill actually had his eyes trained on Georg. This time, there was nowhere for him to go. Georg lifted his chin and locked eyes with the sultry singer. 

Bill looked amazing. Everything about him was black, except his smooth, ivory skin and pink glossed lips. His raven hair was styled down and his kohl was perfectly applied, not too much, not too little. He wore black jeans and a black shirt with a slight ruffle down the front. On any other man, the outfit, makeup and hair would look ridiculous. The look was perfect on Bill, however, and the vision in front of him took Georg’s breath away.

Bill nodded very faintly, and touched Tom on the arm. After a brief look between the twins, Bill scooted around the inside of the booth to sit next to the nervous bassist.   
The club was loud, and Bill had to lean in to make sure his friend would hear him. 

“Hi.” Bill’s breath brushed over his ear, and Georg shivered. He took a long drink of his beer, hoping Bill hadn’t noticed.

“Hey, Bill.” All his thoughts seem to flee his head at once, and he was sure he was going to sound like an idiot. 

“This might not be the best place to talk, but I can’t seem to catch you anywhere else.” Georg could feel Bill’s mouth next to his ear, so close, his breath just enough to tickle the hair of his sideburns. Bill lay a delicate, manicured hand on his wrist. “Why are you running away from me?”

Georg tried to argue, tried to deny that he was running from Bill. Even as the words were leaving his mouth, he realized how false they sounded, and his sentence tapered off. He looked down at Bill’s hand resting on his arm, then brought his eyes up to Bill’s.

He settled for a half truth. “I don‘t mean to.” Georg scanned the table for his cigarettes, needing a distraction. Not seeing them amongst the clutter on the table, he took another sip of his beer, instead. 

“Are you mad at me, Georg?” Bill slid his thigh a little closer to his friend. Georg chuckled humorlessly and sat back, resting against the cold vinyl of the booth. 

“No, Bill. I’m not mad at you. You haven’t done anything wrong. I just haven’t been sleeping very well, and it’s making me kinda weird.” He raised his eyes to Bill’s and watched him nod in understanding. Bill’s hand remained on his wrist. Slim fingers began to caress softly up and down the brunette’s forearms, burning lines into his flesh. Georg put his hand over Bill’s, stilling it.

“I’m gonna go get a shot. You want one?” There was only so much he could take; he needed to get out of the booth and have a chance to breathe. Georg didn’t wait for Bill’s answer before he slid out of the booth and headed for the bar.

~~~ooo~~~

The shots and the beers all seemed to blur together. Georg couldn’t say how many he’d had of each, and he wasn’t really sure he cared. He was more interested in the blonde pressing against his hip. The same hip Bill had scooted up against earlier. He had an arm wrapped around her waist, but it wouldn’t matter if he hadn’t; she had both arms wrapped around him and her lips were firmly attached to his neck. He wasn’t exactly sure how she ended up at their table or how she had come to attach herself to him. What Georg did know was that Bill was eyeing him and the girl from across the table. 

As he watched, Bill slid next to the blonde. With his eyes locked on Georg’s, he brought his hand up, and one perfect finger traced a line from behind the girl’s ear, down her neck and rested between her cleavage. The blonde moaned low in Georg’s ear, and Bill cupped her breast. 

Bill held Georg’s eyes as he slowly leaned toward the blonde. The singer nuzzled the blonde’s ear, whispering words Georg could not hear. Her breath quickened, hot on his skin, her tongue lapping delicately at Georg’s ear. Bill’s eyes sparkled and he took the girl’s earlobe between his own glossy lips. He suckled and release it, before his tongue began to caress where his lips had been. Bill’s eyes slowly slid closed.

Georg watched Bill’s tongue, spied the glint of his tongue-stud, and felt the warm lips nibbling on his own ear. His groin tightened painfully, he closed his eyes, and a loud groan escaped his lips before he could stop it. His hand found the girl’s thigh, his fingers tickled their way up the soft skin inside. She sucked her breath in hard when those fingers stole under her skirt and brushed the edge of her panties. Her fingernails dug into his sides and she bit down, little teeth marks on his tender lobe. 

Georg felt fingers brush his, felt the long nails scratch softly at the back of his hand. He looked at Bill again; Bill was licking the blonde’s neck in short little licks, working his way toward her collarbone. He didn’t seem to even know Georg was there. The fingers caressing his hand proved that he did.

Those ghost fingers began to gently apply just enough pressure to move Georg’s hand, to nudge it down. Finally, Bill’s hand covered Georg’s completely and brought it down to cover the heat trapped inside those silken panties. The singer guided Georg in caressing her, so very lightly, nearly tickling her. The blonde leaned back against the booth, eyes closed, almost purring. Bill made Georg press harder, rub just a little harder, and he could feel her wetness seeping through the silk, spreading over his fingers. He could smell her arousal, and it made his cock so hard that it hurt. 

“Come back to the hotel with me,” Georg commanded, voice husky. His lips whispered over her cheek before finding her lips. He slit his eyes, watching Bill and licking desperately at the girl‘s tongue. 

“Okay.” She panted, pulling her head back to answer him. “But, Bill has to come, too.”

Bill raised his head, looking first at the blonde, then at Georg. He smirked and cocked an eyebrow.


	6. Chapter 6

The only sounds that could be heard from the back of the van were heavy breathing and a soft, feminine giggle. One of the men, it didn’t matter which, had finally asked the girl her name. Carly. It probably wouldn’t matter tomorrow, but they would make sure it mattered tonight.

Georg was as hard and excited as he was nervous. He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop kissing Carly, couldn’t stop touching her. If he did, he might start thinking. If he started thinking, he was afraid he might be too scared to do this. And he wanted to do this. He didn’t know where it was going to lead or what would happen, but it was a chance worth taking, wasn’t it?

The bassist slid his lips over the blonde’s again, licking them, suckling at them, before pulling back to catch his breath. He smoothed his hand down her bare thigh. Bill’s head was bent over the girl’s chest, his hair falling around him so Georg couldn’t see what he was doing. Judging from the breathy sounds she was making, he had a pretty good idea, though. 

Georg felt the van slow and turned to look at the driver. His eyes met Saki’s in the rearview, and the hulking bodyguard smiled and shook his head. Georg smirked at him, but had grace enough to flush slightly. He nudged Bill, and while they pulled up to the curb, Carly put her clothing right. With a warning to behave themselves until they got to their room, Saki got out of the van.

~~~ooo~~~

Georg flipped on the bathroom light as they stumbled into the hotel room. He walked the girl, lips attached to hers, over to the one large bed that took up the majority of the room. Just as the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed, he stopped and wrapped his arms around her, both large hands grasping an ass-cheek. The bassist could feel Carly’s hands on his back, dipping down to his waist, slipping under his shirt, reminding him that hers had to come off. He leaned back, breathing hard, ripped her little blouse over her head and tossed it over his shoulder. He quickly unzipped the back of her skirt, stripped it off, and threw it over by the blouse. 

Georg stood in front of this hot, curvaceous blonde who seemed to want nothing more than to please him, but he wasn’t focusing on her. He was looking for Bill.

Bill hadn’t followed them over to the bed, and Georg pressed up against Carly, head over her shoulder, scanning the room for him. 

Bill was not where Georg had expected him to be. He had not followed them over to the bed because he was sitting in the one lounge chair in the room. His boots where kicked off, his ruffled blouse was unbuttoned and un-tucked, hanging open. And Bill was touching himself. He was watching Georg kiss the groupie, was watching him grope her, and Bill was rubbing the manicured fingers of one hand over the bulge in his own jeans. Sensually, slowly, touching himself, his eyes locked with the bassist’s.

Georg groaned in the back of this throat, drug his eyes from Bill’s gaze and turned Carly back toward the bed. _Is that was this is about?_ he thought, _If he wants a show, I’ll give him a fucking show_. 

Georg held Carly’s head, whisking his thumbs up and down her jaw line and whispered in her ear, “I guess Bill wants to watch for a while. Let’s show him how talented you are with your mouth, huh?” 

Carly giggled and glanced over at Bill. Before her second breath, she dropped to sit on the bed and strip Georg of his jeans. In an instant, they and his briefs joined the rest of the clothing piled on the floor. Carly ran her nails softly up the backs of Georg’s thighs, making them shiver, before her fingers wrapped around his cock. He had been so hard for so long that pre-come was leaking from the tip, forming a long, fluid line to where it pooled on the blonde’s knee. Stroking him softly with one hand, she scooped up the puddle with her other fingers and brought them to her mouth. She stuck her tongue out to lick them off, glancing coyly up at Georg, before plunging two fingers in her mouth and sucking them deep in her mouth. 

She dipped her wet fingers under his balls, pushing them back just enough to graze Georg’s small opening, and her lips wrapped around the head of his cock at the same time. The effect was stunning. Georg threw his head back, barely keeping his knees from buckling, and he thrust deeper into her mouth.

“Jesus…” he moaned, and struggled to gain control. Her tongue worked circles under the head of his cock, and he grabbed the hair on the back of her head into his fist. Carly dipped her lips lower, sucking him in until she had swallowed all of him, until he reached the back of her throat, and still she reached lower. Her lips anchored around the base of his cock, she thrust out her tongue and licked his balls down as far as she could go.

Georg could barely breathe, the sensation around his cock was so intense that he could barely remember where he was. A moan and the sound of a zipper was loud enough to break through the sound of his breathing, though, and he shot a look over to the source of the sound.

Bill was still in the chair, but his black jeans were now around his thighs. The singer still had his eyes locked on Georg, and the bassist felt his stomach flip again. Black and white-tipped fingers slipped up and down over Bill’s cock as he watched the couple near the bed. The fingers of his other hand were hidden between his legs, dipped down somewhere underneath his balls. Georg watched Bill’s tongue slide out and lick sensually over his lips as Bill watched Carly mouth Georg’s cock. 

Georg pulled back on Carly’s hair, making his cock slide out of her mouth with a pop.

“That’s it.” His head was spinning, “On your knees.” He blinked, it seemed, and looked down and she was on her knees on the bed. Her shapely ass was raised in front of him, and he fondled it, reaching down to rub the moist triangle covered in silky panty. He slowly pulled the red panties down until they were caught around her thighs. Georg had every intention of pulling them right off her, but he’d made the mistake of looking at Bill, and that’s all the further he’d gotten them. 

Still cupping his balls, his middle finger dipping down toward his tight hole, Bill used the other hand to stroke languidly up and down the shaft of his cock. The raven singer stopped and swirled a white-tipped index finger around the head, spreading around the clear fluid that dripped out of him around the swollen head. Georg could see that Bill was breathing hard, and it made his cock twitch. 

Inspired by the sight of Bill’s tongue and fondling fingers, Georg grasped his dick and nudged the entrance of Carly’s wet passage. She was so wet that he could see her inner thighs glistening in the light coming out of the bathroom. He could smell her sex, and worked his cock head in slowly, wanting to drag this out just a little. This wasn’t like with Jessie. Georg wasn’t just trying to forget Bill. Bill was sitting right here, watching all of this. Watching him.

Georg slowly sank his length into Carly’s tight hole, grasping her by the fronts of her thighs and feeling his balls kiss her clit. He pulled out until he was barely staying in, until the head was just this side of falling out, only to thrust in again, as languidly as the first time.

Carly seemed to moan on the breath in and moan on the breath out. A couple more thrusts, and she was also looking to Bill. 

“Come on, Bill, baby, what are you doing over there by yourself?” she teased him, “Don’t you want to come over here and play with us?” Another groan came from her lips just as she leaned to the side to beckon him with one finger.

Bill stood up silently and stripped his clothes off. Within a moment, he was sat on the edge of the bed, and Carly had adjusted herself so that she was hovering over Bill’s hard cock. 

Georg couldn’t see what Carly was doing, but he could see the look on Bill’s face, and it was nothing short of beautiful. Bill’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment as the feeling of Carly’s tongue and mouth seemed to overwhelm him. Then his eyes opened again, and met with Georg’s. 

Georg fucked Carly steadily from behind as her mouth slid up and down, working Bill’s cock expertly, sliding her tongue around the head and over the slit. 

Bill’s hand untangled itself from Carly’s hair and reached toward Georg, his chocolate eyes still holding Georg’s green ones. Georg felt the hand reach toward him more than saw it, and he reached up to catch it with his own. Their fingers brushed so lightly over each others, and Georg bent forward, capturing a couple of Bill’s fingers in his mouth. 

His tongue swirled around those fingers just as Carly’s tongue had swirled around his dick, and he hollowed out his cheeks, sucking them in. Bill’s moan caused a chain reaction, causing Carly to make a noise deep in her throat, her cunt to contract on Georg’s dick, and Georg to groan around Bill’s fingers. Georg slipped his tongue up between Bill’s fingers and bit lightly at the tips. 

Bill’s eyes widened slightly. He pulled his fingers out of Georg’s mouth suddenly, and traced the outline of Georg’s upper lip with a wet tip. Georg’s mouth fell open, his head tipped back, and he thrust even harder into Carly as Bill’s hand trailed down Georg’s hard chest, toward his belly.

Carly shifted again in front of him, and when Georg looked to Bill, he saw Bill laying on the bed, his legs and feet where his head had been before. He felt a hot, wet tongue caressing his balls, and it sunk in what was going on. 

Bill had shifted under Carly and was licking Georg’s balls and the junction of where Georg’s dick was plunging repeatedly into Carly’s wetness. His eyes focused on Carly’s head bobbing, her lips sucking wetly on Bill’s dick, and he closed his eyes tightly.

Georg could do nothing less than picture Bill underneath him, just as he could feel it now. Bill’s tongue caressing them…fuck….Bill’s mouth so close to his cock. 

Madness. It was pure madness, but before he could think, Georg pulled his dick out of Carly and plunged it into Bill’s open, waiting mouth. As he felt Bill’s lips close around him, sucking at him, bringing him that much closer to the edge, he had the presence of mind to slam two fingers inside of Carly. He curled them, aiming for the spot that would drive her to her own edge, even as he thrusted harder into his friend’s mouth. 

Georg saw Bill’s hands reach up and grasp Carly’s hips, holding her steady, holding himself steady, and he pulled out of Bill’s mouth to thrust inside Carly yet again. Just enough to dip inside, two strokes and he was out.

He felt Bill’s hand grab his cock and he was sucked inside that mouth again. Georg couldn’t hold out any longer. He knew he was going to come, and come hard. And he was going to do it in Bill’s mouth. 

With that thought, Georg lost control and thrust hard, seemingly unable to control his movements. Bill’s lips sucked him in, his throat closed around him, his tongue swirled, and Georg’s world turned white hot. His stomach twisted, his legs tensed, and with a yell, he shot his load deep into Bill’s throat.

Georg spit on his fingers and thrust a couple fingers desperately, clumsily, into Carly, trying to distract her from what was going on behind her. He fingered her fast and hard, and as she began to moan in orgasm around Bill’s dick, Georg watched Bill’s hips buck as he came hard in the groupie’s mouth.

~~~ooo~~~

Georg and Bill talked and laughed with Carly as she got dressed. They didn’t push her out the door, but Georg was anxious for her to leave. Each kissed her goodbye at the door, and Saki escorted her out. Neither young men looked at each other as they turned back toward the bed. Head spinning from fear and ecstasy, and not knowing what to say or what to do, Georg climbed under the rumpled bed sheets, closed his eyes, and waited. 

Georg knew Bill hadn’t left, could still feel him there, standing by the bed, and he could feel the singer’s eyes on him. Eyes closed, the bassist reached over and pulled back the covers next to him. It was an invitation. 

Bill took it. He climbed between the sheets and lay so still, Georg couldn’t feel him breathe. The alcohol was wearing off, and the tension between them gained weight. But the night had been full of chances, and Georg was willing to take one more.

He shifted just a couple inches toward Bill. Very slowly, ever so carefully, he pulled Bill into his arms. The singer didn’t resist, but he held himself slightly away, body stiff. However, when Georg gently wrapped strong arms around him, when he stroked Bill’s hair and cupped his cheek, when he laid a sweet kiss on the top of Bill’s head, Bill finally relaxed into him with a sigh. 

Georg felt Bill’s breathing change and become regular, and a smile touched the corners of his mouth as he drifted off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

He should have been writhing from the pain in his head. He should have been nauseous enough to wish for a bucket. He should have been sweating enough to soak the bed. 

When he woke, Georg was none of these. His first thought was of the night before. His first thought was of Bill. A smile played upon his lips and he sighed deeply. A dam had burst somewhere deep inside him, and he relished swimming in the wake it had released.

Georg stretched luxuriously and turned over. He hadn’t really expected that Bill would still be in bed with him, but that didn’t stop the ache that settled in his chest when he wasn’t. Even as Georg’s hand reached out and touched the spot he had last seen his lover, it occurred to him how far gone he was, and how cheesy was his gesture. He shook his head, chuckled, and rolled out of bed..

Georg couldn’t remember a time when he’d grinned so much. The whole time he was getting ready for their interview that day, he replayed every word, every movement, every sound from the night before, and butterflies stirred in his belly. No words of love had been spoken, no talk of feelings, but Bill had touched him. Bill had done so much more than touch him. 

Now he had to get to the interview. He wasn’t usually nervous about these; they were pretty routine. He was going to see Bill, though, and he couldn’t wait. Georg quickly finished getting ready, gathered his things, and headed to the lobby.

~~~ooo~~~

The interview team was all set up and the rest of the band were assembled in the conference room of the hotel by the time Georg made his noisy entrance into the room. While the interviewer looked up from her note-cards to watch Georg jog over to join the guys on the couch and plop down next to Tom, none of the band gave him a second glance. He had a well-earned reputation for being late.

Now Georg was here, however, there was nothing to stop him from mentally checking out. The interviewer was a young French woman, and while Tom was staring her down, ogling her legs, his tongue playing with his lip ring, Georg couldn’t have said the color of her hair. She was simply non-existent. 

He watched Bill openly. There was no concern of being caught; Bill was the leader and unofficial voice for the band. If anyone was going to have to answer all these questions, it would be Bill, and that’s just how Georg liked it.

He loved to be able to sit back and watch Bill talk animatedly. The expressions on his face, the way he talked compulsively with his hands all endeared him more to Georg every day. 

The interview concluded without Georg having said a word. If the interviewer had asked him any questions, he’d have made a complete fool of himself, because he had no idea what she’d said. He wanted this done so he could talk to Bill. It didn’t need to be a serious talk. Georg just wanted to be near him, feel the energy from him that he’d felt the night before.

He looked up in time to see Bill and Tom walking toward the exit. The bassist bolted from the couch, and reached out to touch Bill’s arm. 

Bill squeezed Tom’s elbow. “Go ahead, I’ll be right there.” He turned to Georg.

“Bill.” Now with Bill right in front of him, Georg found he didn’t know what to say. He tried to catch Bill’s eyes, tried to see what Bill was thinking. But Bill’s eyes wouldn’t reach his. Bill stared at Georg’s mouth, his face unreadable.

“Bill, I wanted to--”

Bill’s eyes flicked up to his. 

“Georg…” The name sounded like a caress. But a moment and a few shaky breaths later, his bottom lip began to tremble until he caught it in his teeth, “I can’t.”

He turned to walk away, and Georg felt him slipping through his fingers. He grabbed out for Bill and grasped the singer’s thin wrist.

“Wait! Please, just let me--” but Bill jerked his arm out of Georg’s hand and ran to catch up with Tom. 

He didn’t look back.

~~~ooo~~~

Georg sat in the booth on the bus. He frowned, lit another cigarette, and began to peel the label from the bottle of water in front of him. He shot a glance at Gustav, and found the drummer sitting on the couch, watching him. Without a word, the bassist turned to stare out at the parking lot.

“Hey, you wanna play something on the Playstation? David got a couple new games for us.” Gustav held up the brightly-colored packages.

“No, thanks.”

“How about a movie, then? You pick.”

“No, thanks.” Georg answered with a sigh, and his eyes met Gustav’s. “I just…”

He shook his head and stared back out the window. 

_What the hell have I done?_ His stomach clenched until he thought he might throw up. _I fucked it all up. He’s gonna hate me, he’s never gonna forgive me. Jesus, he can’t even look at me._

Georg sipped the cold water, the coolness made his stomach hurt even more. He picked more pieces of the label off and made them into a little pile in front of him. 

The sound of Tom’s laughter filtered through the door of the bus, just before it was wrenched open and the lanky guitarist bounded up the steps. He was talking loudly to Bill, who was walking right behind him, eyes down, brow furrowed.

Georg sat up straight in the booth as he watched them enter. No matter that he’d been shot down so finally at the hotel, he still felt hope bloom in his belly. His eyes searched Bill’s face, waiting for Bill to look up, to see him.

Tom continued to talk, walking to the back of the bus toward the bunks, before realizing Bill had stopped by the booth and was not listening to him. He turned to look at his twin.

“Billa?”

All the blood had drained from Bill’s face, and he looked even paler than before. He stood stock still, staring at the floor next to the booth.

“Bill?” Georg held his breath and started to get up. He wanted to get to Bill. Wanted to apologize, wanted to explain, wanted to do whatever it was he had to do to make it right. 

Bill’s milk-chocolate eyes traveled slowly upward and locked on the brunette’s sage, pained ones. Neither breathed. Georg saw the glimmer of tears rimming the bottom lids of those beautiful eyes, and the pain of that realization shot through his chest, running down his arms and swirling in his aching stomach. 

“Bill, what’s wrong?” Tom took two steps toward his little brother, concern etched in his face.

Bill blinked, and looked away. The connection was lost.

“Nothing, Tomi.” he sighed, “I’m just…hung-over. I think I’m going to my bunk for a while.”

Bill brushed quickly past Tom and disappeared into the bunk area.

Georg fell, defeated, back into the booth, and grabbed his water bottle, wishing it was a beer. He felt eyes on him, and looked up to find Tom staring at him. 

“What’s going on, Georg?” Tom looked confused, like he was trying to decide if he needed to be pissed off or not.

Georg looked at Gustav, perhaps looking for help, perhaps looking for answers. But Gustav could only look back; he had no answers for him.

With shaking hands, the bassist lit another cigarette and focused unseeing eyes out the window. His last, unfinished, cigarette burned in the ashtray, and the smoke swirled around his head. That must have been the reason his eyes were watering.

~~~ooo~~~

Georg disappeared inside his music. Those two little buds that streamed music right into his soul also did the wondrous favor of keeping everything else out. He wanted to cut himself off. He wanted to not hear, not see, not breathe Bill.   
He wanted to not love Bill.

In this exile, what he didn’t count on was the final realization that he had become so accustomed to loving Bill, he didn’t know how to not love him.

Georg felt the bus slow and begin a series of turns, stops and starts that usually signaled they had arrived at their destination. He hadn’t seen anyone since Bill had disappeared to his bunk, and he wished heartily that he didn’t have to see anyone now. He knew he had no choice.

The bus came to a stop and the rumble beneath him stilled. Georg didn’t move. Finally, when he felt the commotion of the other boys leaving the bus began to fade away, he turned off his ipod. The silence was gorgeous, and he heard his pulse beat in his ears.

The stocky bassist hauled himself up from his bunk, muscles aching from hours of lying down, flopping from one side to the other until there was obviously no possible comfortable position left. His head and his bones ached, and he just wanted to breathe again.

Georg grabbed his bag and exited the bus, to find himself and a couple of the guards at some private door in what must be a garage. He sighed a little with relief at the lack of screaming fangirls. The brunette followed the guard in front of him, snaking their way through the halls, taking the elevator up one floor to meet the rest of the band in the lobby. 

The four young men waited, impatient but polite, while David tried to rectify some mix-up with their reservations. Georg put down his bag and gazed at the others in turn. 

Tom was talking on his cell phone, voice low, laughing in his throat. 

Gustav had his arms crossed and appeared to be staring at the pattern in the carpet.

Bill was looking at Georg.

Georg’s eyes widened and he felt his heart skip. He looked back at Bill, his eyes searching for something, some kind of sign, some glint, some spark that might mean forgiveness. 

Before he found it, David turned to them and gave each one a keycard, with the admonishment to remember they had a show the next day. As Georg picked up his bag, he heard Tom’s laugh retreating toward the elevators.

“Yeah, says the producer that let us get blitzed when we were fifteen.” 

The twins were gone on the first elevator before Georg even reached them. 

He took the next elevator up with Gustav, both of them staring at the line of dark numbers above the door, watching them light up and go out as each floor passed. A familiar soft thud, small sinking feeling and a tinny ding, and they had reached their floor. 

They disembarked and Georg began to look for his room. It didn’t take long to find it, and before long, he’d locked himself in. He groaned a little, realizing that he had a whole night ahead of him. A whole night, alone, to spend inside his head.

He threw his bag on the bed, slipped his shoes and jacket off, and had just grabbed the television remote when he heard the soft knock on his door.


	8. Chapter 8

Georg froze, his heart in his throat. He’d caught Bill watching him downstairs in the lobby. Maybe he’d finally come to talk. 

Suddenly a little nervous, more than hopeful, he strode quickly to the door. He paused, took a deep breath, and slowly opened the door.

Georg let go of that breath in one hard gust. 

“Hey.” Disappointment thick in his throat, the bassist turned his back and walked away from the door.

“Well, it’s nice to see you, too.” Gustav followed him into the room and brushed past him to the large windows that took up the majority of one wall. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be an ass.” Georg tossed the remote on the bed and fell heavily into an armchair. “I’ve just had a rough week.”

Gustav opened the heavy drapes, first one side, then the other, letting the sunshine stream in through polished glass. Georg didn’t seem to notice; he was slumped down in the chair, his eyes closed, his face tilted toward the ceiling.

Gustav lingered a moment by the window, studying Georg, then moved to the bed and piled the pillows in front of him. 

He began to nervously fluff the pillows, thoroughly plumping them up, then arranging them on the bed.

Georg stared at the diminutive drummer. “What are you doing, Gus?”

Gustav stopped. He looked at the pillow in his hands, then back at Georg, a confused look on his face. Finally, he shrugged, and threw the pillows up by the headboard. Gustav smoothed down the blankets, then sat at the end of the bed near the bassist.

“Look, you need to spill it, Georg.” 

Georg looked up at him, his face a mask of pain and apprehension. 

“Talk to me. What’s going on with Bill?”

Georg groaned and covered his face with his hands. “It’s so obvious, huh?”

Gustav snorted. “Georg, you two literally can‘t be in the same room together without one of you bolting. Yeah, pretty obvious.”

One arm wrapped around himself, the other hand covering his mouth, Georg stared wide-eyed at Gustav, shaking his head. 

“I’m such an idiot.” He jumped up from his chair and began to pace at the end of the bed…over to the window, back to the chair, over to the window.

Gustav sat on the bed and watched him. He didn’t move and he didn’t speak. He sat and watched Georg.

Georg’s nervous energy began to bleed out, and he slowed his pacing, stopping by the window. 

“I fucked up, Gus.” Georg released a deep sigh. He was going to spill it. Gustav might have a hard time hearing it, but Georg was going to spill it anyway.

“I thought it was what he wanted. He started it, didn’t he? Did you see him at the club?” Gustav nodded, but Georg hadn’t looked for his answer. Instead, he turned his back further on his friend and rested his forehead on the cold glass.

“We went to the hotel with that girl. We started fooling around, and he just watched. He didn’t watch us, though, he watched me. His eyes were on me the whole time, I could feel it. I could feel…him.” His breath quickened with the memory, and the glass began to fog over.

“She asked him to join, so he did. We didn’t touch each other at first, but Gustav, he reached out to me. _He_ reached out and touched me! And then…” Georg’s hands pressed against the glass, and he ducked his head.

Georg felt Gustav come up behind him.

“Did you… erm…well, did you have…sex? With him?” 

Georg’s fingers curled into the glass, fingertips squeaking against it.

“Yeah. Well, I guess. I didn’t, you know…stick it in him.” Georg groaned a little, embarrassed to be telling this to his friend. “But, yes. And now he won’t look at me, Gustav. He did that, he chose to do that, and now…he won’t even look at me.”

The sob tore through Georg before he could stop it, before he could hold it back, and once set free, it multiplied. His shoulders shook, his face crumpled, and he let loose. All his pent-up frustration, all his pain, all his anxiety rushed out through panting breaths and streaming tears. His hands trembled on the glass, and as he moved to tuck them under his arms, he felt Gustav’s hand on his shoulder.

Georg turned to his friend, and Gustav wrapped him up in his arms and held on. He held on until the sobs tapered off, until the tears slowed, until the breaths evened out. 

~~~ooo~~~

“I can’t believe you talked me into watching that damn movie again!” Georg laughed again, shoved Gustav’s shoulder and scooted off the bed. He dug around in the mini-bar and pulled out two colas. He turned, holding them up and raised an eyebrow in question to his friend.

Gustav nodded, and Georg brought both bottles back to the bed, leaning up against the headboard as he handed one to the drummer. The bassist was still smiling as he took his first sip.

“I can’t tell you how much I needed this.” Georg’s soft statement broke through the silence as Gustav turned the dvd off. “Thank you.”

The blonde chuckled next to him. “You don’t have to thank me, man…” 

Georg felt the pause, and shot a quick glance at his friend before fixing his eyes on the bottle he was holding.

“But…?” He could feel where this was going, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go there again tonight. He was still too raw.

“But you know this doesn’t change anything.” Gustav’s voice was soft and mild, as if he were afraid of startling a wild animal.

“I know it doesn’t.” 

“What are you going to do?”

Georg grunted a derisive laugh. “I have no idea. He obviously doesn’t want to talk to me. Can’t stand to be in the same room with me.” He unscrewed the bottle cap jerkily and tipped the bottle up for a long drink. He dropped the bottle down quickly, the fizzy liquid splashing a little up on his nose as he began to choke hard. 

Gustav grabbed the bottle and smacked him on the back a couple times, as Georg sputtered and his eyes filled with tears.

“Dammit! I hate that, “ he laughed weakly as he began to get the choking under control and took a few tentative breaths. “I’m okay.”

“Look, you guys are going to have to find a way to deal with this.” Georg started to interrupt but Gustav continued on quickly, “I know! But you can’t control what Bill does…”

Georg shot him a look and snorted.

“Yeah, okay, no one controls what Bill does. Not my point here. The point is, you have to decide what you’re going to do, and what the consequences might be.”

Georg ducked his head, tucking his chin into his chest. “That’s the problem, Gus. I’ve done nothing but sit and think about this, and think about Bill, and look at him and remember and hurt until I can’t think any more.”

Placing his drink on the nightstand, he pulled himself up from the bed again and scanned the room for his cigarettes. He spotted them on the dresser by the television and grabbed them, pushing out of his mind the slight possibility that he should really cut down on his smoking. He felt Gustav watching him as Georg opened the window and leaned against the sill as he lit the smoke.

Gustav got up to join him by the window, rubbing his arms a little, a chilly night breeze invading the room and making the ember in Georg’s cigarette glow brighter.

“What do you want?”

Georg stared into the city lights beyond the glass and took a deep drag from his cigarette. He held the smoke in, almost needing the distraction of the pain in his lungs. Just short of a cough, he blew the smoke out the window. 

“I want him to be happy.” He rubbed his eyes and looked at his friend. “And right now, he’s not happy.”

Gustav sighed and leaned back to rest on the window-sill, arms crossed. 

“As I see it, you have two choices. You can either leave things the way they are and hope that he gets over it, or you can tell him how you feel.”

“Yeah, those choices suck.” Georg looked around for an ashtray but settled eventually for dropping the lit butt in the toilet. On the way back from the bathroom, he paused at the nightstand to sip from his cola.

“But Georg, can you live with yourself if you never tell him? If you never take the chance?” 

Georg sat with his back against the headboard again and waited for Gustav to continue.

“Because it seems to me that nothing is going to be the same anyway. You either get to deal with this weirdness, and Tom,” The bassist looked up and they grimaced together, and then laughed together because of it. “or you tell him. Talk to him. Corner him, if you have to. He’s either going to be freaked out, in which case, you still have the weirdness you’re living with anyway, or…”

Georg looked into his friends face, searching Gustav’s dark eyes, “Do you think it’s even possible, Gus?”

“Georg, you know Bill. Anything is possible.” 

~~~ooo~~~

Georg awoke the next morning knowing what he had to do. 

The interview that afternoon seemed to last hours. Bill was beautiful, as always, but Georg could see the strain and exhaustion on his face, and he noticed Bill drop his gaze each time Tom or the interviewer referred to Georg. Guilt stung him, but he told himself to be patient. _Just breathe and wait. Breathe and wait._

Soundcheck was a tense affair. Georg watched Bill, but kept his distance from the young singer. He wanted to be careful. He didn’t want to push him, and he certainly didn’t want to spook him any further. So he went through the same routine he could follow in his sleep, and soon enough, the four men found themselves in the green room, waiting for the concert to start.

In the silence of that room, Georg sat on a black vinyl couch and stared at his hands folded in his lap. The longer this took, the longer he had to wait until he could talk to Bill. The longer he had to wait, the more nervous he got. 

He glanced up, cleared his throat and reached for his water. 

The noise, or maybe it was the movement, seemed to catch Bill’s attention, and his eyes met Georg’s. 

Georg sucked a sharp breath in and dropped his eyes back to his lap, but not before catching the ghost of a smile on Bill’s lips. He felt his face pinken and grow warm, and his own smile grew wide.

Tom’s confused voice brought his head up again. “What the hell is going on with you two?” 

Scooting away from Bill slightly and turning to face him, Tom looked from one man to the other and back again, narrowing his eyes when neither of them answered. “Are you guys planning something? Whatever it is, I want you to know, I will retaliate.”

Tom poked a finger at both of them, the tiniest smirk taking the edge off the threat. “You just watch your shampoo bottles, that’s all I’m saying.” 

Bill looked at Georg, raised his eyebrows, and the tension died a quiet death, drowned in the sound of their laughter.


	9. Chapter 9

Georg looked around the dark bar and shook his head. 

Muted lights, burgundy walls and dark wood accents were complimented by mounted medieval weapons and the odd full suit of armor. The place definitely had character, and any other time, he’d have been happy to camp out at a table here and drink the night away with his best friends. 

Tonight, however, he had plans. Bill was an essential part of those plans. And Bill had insisted on coming here, so here they were.

More accurately, here Georg sat with Gustav. The twins had left some time ago to get drinks and hadn’t returned yet. Georg began to tap his blunt fingers on the scuffed wood of the table.

“You’re gonna tell him tonight, aren’t you?”

Georg scanned the bar once again, hoping to catch sight of Bill. When he still didn’t see the singer, he looked at his blonde friend and took a long pull from his beer. Setting the bottle back down in the ring of condensation it had bled there before, his lips twitched into a slow smile.

“I am, if we ever get out of here.” He chuckled a little and leaned his forearms on the table, his hand still wrapped around the brown bottle in front of him.

“Nervous?”

“As fuck.” 

Gustav drained the dregs of his beer and turned to summon the waitress. “Do you know what you’re gonna--” 

“Hey guys. Where’d you go?” Georg’s smile grew as the twins sat at opposite sides of the table, both setting drinks in front of them.

Tom dipped his head toward the brunette and Georg leaned in to hear him. 

“There may not be a lot of hot blondes here, but don’t let that fool you, my friend.” Tom grabbed the bassist’s shoulder and squeezed for emphasis, “Some of these girls are _skilled_.”

Georg shot a look over to Bill, the smile falling from his face. Bill had been with Tom. Had he also sampled these skills? Bill smiled and shook his head as his brother continued to praise the local talent.

“I should have known you’d get up to something if I left you alone for ten minutes.” 

Georg breathed in relief. He could hear the rumble of Tom still talking next to him, but none of his words made sense. He could feel Gustav watching him, but he was focused on Bill. 

In another reality, Georg would already be leaning across this wobbly table, already be cupping his palm around the nape of this exotic beauty, already be pressing his lips softly against the plush, pink lips of his love. In another reality, Georg was bold, fearless and could be as romantic as he felt. 

In this reality, Bill smiled at Georg and he went a little lightheaded. In this reality, Georg blushed and began to sweat a little. His nervousness doubled with his anticipation, and he decided maybe he’d better go get another drink.

“Hey guys, I’m going to get a drink.” _And outside to get some air._

He threw a lopsided grin at Bill, finally breaking eye contact, and went to stand at the bar. There weren’t tons of people there tonight, being a weeknight, but there were enough to make him have to wait to place his order. The pony-tailed, bearded bartender greeted him after a few moments, and Georg ordered a double Jack Coke. 

Chilled beverage in hand, he wandered over to the heavy wooden door at the back of the bar. He pushed it open and found himself in a darkened beer garden. Picnic tables lined the wooden fence and speakers piped in the rock music playing in the bar. In the middle of the garden was a large fire pit enclosed in webbed steel. The fire inside licked at the metal cage and was bright enough to illuminate all but the darkest corners of the garden.

Georg let the door fall closed and walked further inside the garden. He sipped at his drink, grimacing a little at how strong it was. He had to calm down, just fucking relax a little.

He let his head drop back and stared into the blackness above him. Sighing deeply, he let his shoulders drop and closed his eyes. 

He could smell the fire, smell the trees outside the garden, smell the drink in his hand. And somehow, he could still smell the sandalwood and musk that was Bill. Georg felt the arousal spreading in his belly, and let out a small chuckle as he shook his head. Bill was everywhere. _Bill is everything._

“Georg?”

Bill was right behind him.

Georg brought his head down and took another sip of his drink, trying to remember how to breathe.

“You didn’t come back.”

“No, I wanted to get some air. Seemed kinda stuffy in there.” He threw a quick glance over his shoulder, not wanting to get caught up in Bill’s eyes again. Not right now. That had to wait until later.

Bill seemed to have other ideas. Georg felt the softest touch of Bill’s hand on his shoulder, and his belly tightened. The touch trailed around him as Bill came around to face him. 

Fingertips, just the tips, touching his chest, just for a moment, and Georg was lost. He fell into Bill’s eyes and floated there.

“What are you doing?” Georg’s voice was gritty and low.

Bill’s hand shook a little as it skimmed down his arm and his fingers wrapped around Georg’s drink.

He lifted the glass from Georg’s grasp, whispering barely loud enough for Georg to hear him.

“I don’t know.”

He took a healthy drink from Georg’s glass and handed it back, licking his lips to capture every drop. Georg stopped thinking.

The drink was abandoned blindly on a nearby table. He wrapped an arm around Bill’s tiny waist, pulling them together finally, fully. Never losing Bill’s eyes, he reached up, cupping Bill’s cheek, guiding him closer yet. 

Bill stopped just a breath away from Georg’s lips, and Georg held his breath. He could feel the desperation growing inside him, impatient to feel this, almost frantic to taste Bill. He heard himself growl, and he pulled Bill down until their lips touched.

And their lips touched, so softly, so tenderly. The sound of the fire was gone. The smell of the trees was gone. All that existed was in his arms.

His tongue tickled Bill’s lips, begging entrance, and after a moment of hesitation, Bill opened up for him. Georg slowly released that breath, and it turned into a low groan. Bill tasted like strawberries and a little like Jack, and the thought occurred to Georg that he could live on that taste. 

Bill’s arms tightened around his shoulders and his tongue invaded Georg’s mouth, caressing, exploring, and Georg threaded his fingers into Bill’s hair.

And then it was done. Bill pulled back, breathing hard. Georg held him still as he found Bill’s gaze.

What he read in those wide, chocolate eyes made him freeze. Desire and fear.

The next move was Bill’s. Georg reflexively tightened his grasp on Bill‘s waist, scared of what Bill would do, knowing what he would do.

Bill ran.

~~~ooo~~~

 

The fire died down, and the breeze picked up. Goosebumps prickled his skin, but Georg didn’t feel them. He sat at a table and nursed his abandoned drink. 

Gustav poked his head around the wooden door. “Georg?”

The bassist raised his arm, back still to the door, and hunched back over his drink. Gustav sat on the bench across from him.

“Do you want to talk?”

“Nope.”

“Do you want anything?”

Georg raised his eyes to his friend’s.

Gustav smirked. “Do you want anything I can get for you?” 

“Refill? Double Jack Coke. And my cigarettes.”

“Done.” The drummer disappeared back into the bar.

Georg looked into the sky and thought about how long it would take to count the stars, and he thought about how long he would wait for Bill. He would wait longer for Bill.

 _God, I’m a sap. When did that happen?_ He chuckled to himself.

Gustav reappeared by the table, setting down Georg’s drink and cigarettes, and his own beer. He stationed himself across from his friend again, and the two sat in silence.

Two cigarettes later, his drink half gone, Georg cleared his throat. 

“Where are the twins?” _Where’s Bill?_

“Tom is holding court over three or four girls at our table,” Gustav caught Georg’s eyes. “and he said Bill left.”

Georg ducked his head and took another long drink. “Was he okay?”

“I don’t know, I was in the bathroom.” 

Another short silence.

“Are you still going to talk to him tonight?”

“I have to. We can’t keep doing this. It’s bad for us, it’s bad for the band.” Georg downed the rest of his drink, throwing back his head and gulping it down. “In fact, let’s go.” 

~~~ooo~~~

Tom hadn’t been too happy about leaving, but the look on Georg’s face, and Gustav’s glare, had convinced him it was time to go. Tom talked for most of the ride back to the hotel, about one girl or another, not noticing that neither man with him seemed interested at the moment.

Tobi accompanied them to their floor, and Gustav squeezed Georg’s shoulder before the bassist let himself into his room. He wanted just a moment alone. Standing in the middle of his empty room, though, he realized that there was nothing in here for him, and it was pretty much now or never.

Georg felt his back pocket for his keycard, and strode into the hall, stopping in front of Bill’s door. There was no hesitation in him anymore. He rapped determinedly on the white door.

There was no answer.

_What the hell? Where would he be?_

“Tom.”

Georg knocked on Tom’s door, and it swung open almost immediately.

“What, were you waiting by the door?” Georg laughed nervously.

Tom pointed to the adjacent bathroom door, and Georg heard the toilet refilling. The door opened wider and Tom retreated into the room. 

“Oh.” Georg followed. “Uh, is Bill in here?” He scanned the room. Obviously not.

“No. Why?” Tom reached into the minibar. “Want a beer?” Not waiting for an answer, the dreadhead pulled out two bottles, popped them open, and handed one to his friend.

Georg looked at the beer in his hand, not really in the mood for it, but he took a swig anyway. 

“I need to talk to him. It’s kind of important.” Georg settled into the armchair near the windows.

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to corner your ass about that.” Tom sat on the bed, his back against the headboard. “What the fuck is going on with you two? And don’t tell me it’s nothing.”

Georg closed his mouth and swallowed what he’d been meaning to say. 

“Bill is ridiculously emotional lately, and you‘re not much better.” Tom’s voice was as serious as Georg had ever heard it. “You’re my friend. He’s my brother. Don’t you think it’s time you let me in on this?”

Georg stared at Tom, searching his eyes, searching his face. Could he tell him this? He had to tell him something. There’s no way he would get to talk to Bill tonight if he didn’t. But he didn’t have to tell him everything. 

“Okay, it’s like this. Remember that night Bill and I left the bar with that chick?” Georg didn’t wait for Tom’s answer, he had to say this all at once, or he wouldn’t be able to say it at all. “Well, we…um…fuck. We…”

Georg took another long drink from his bottle, and stood up to stand, muscles coiled and tense, at the end of Tom’s bed. He couldn’t look at the man on the bed, but focused his eyes on the carpet in front of his toes.

“I need to talk to Bill because I need to tell him that I love him. And I think he feels something for me, too. I don’t know what it is, and I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I need to talk to him.” The words rushed out, and he looked up to gauge Tom’s reaction.

Tom was staring at Georg, his beer brought half-way to his lips, his mouth hanging open.

“You what?”

Georg sighed.

“You’re in love with Bill?”

Georg nodded.

“Are you outta your fucking mind? Are you fucking with me?” Tom narrowed his eyes to slits.

“I’m not, Tom, I’m serious. Very serious.” 

Tom didn’t move. He studied Georg, and he didn’t say anything for a long enough time that Georg started to get nervous. Finally, he slid off the bed and stood next to his friend. 

“Then I guess you should talk to him.” Tom stepped over to the door that connected his room and Bill’s. He grasped the handle and started to push the door open.

“I knocked on his door, there was no answer.”

“He’s probably sleeping.” Tom swung the door open the rest of the way and the two men stood in the doorway. “Bill?”

The light from Tom’s room shone onto Bill’s bed, and in between Georg and Tom’s shadows, the men saw Bill’s dark head whip around to face them. Georg’s adrenaline flared, and as he stepped forward, about to speak, about to apologize for waking his love, the girl in Bill’s bed squeaked and went scrambling for her clothes.

“Bill!” Tom’s voice seemed far away. Georg’s voice froze in his throat.

As Bill buried his head in his pillows and whimpered, Georg turned, ran to Tom’s bathroom and threw up.


	10. Chapter 10

You notice a lot of things about a wall when you stare at one for hours on end.

You notice whether it is painted or papered. You notice the color, the texture, the pattern. Are there bumps under the paper? Or is the paper thick enough or textured enough to cover the shoddy prep work?

The wall closest to the bed in Georg’s hotel room was beige. Just plain, boring, beige. It had a white crown molding at the top and a white baseboard at the bottom. But it also had an intricate pattern, interlocking swirls in a raised texture that repeated up and down, from ceiling to floor. 

His eyes traced the pattern again and again as he tried to block out the voices whispering outside his door and the voices screaming inside his head.

The phone had stopped ringing only after he had taken it from the hook and thrown it hard enough to leave a dent in the wall next to the dresser. The knocking, and then the pounding, on his door had stopped hours ago.

Now it was just him and the voices, the loudest of which was his own. Chastising him for letting Tom open that door. Taunting him for daring to love someone he could obviously never have. 

The shadows moved from one side of the wall to the other. The voices in the hall moved away. Georg moved only to use the bathroom. 

~~~ooo~~~

In the dim light of evening, Georg found himself startled awake. Eyes wide, holding his breath, he listened for what had woken him.

The door clicked shut, and he exhaled.

Behind him, he could hear the scratch of denim brushing denim, stopping near the bed. He didn’t particularly want to talk to anyone. Not even Gustav. So he waited.

After a moment, he felt the edge of the bed dip. Another moment passed, and he heard the barest of whispers.

“Georg.”

His stomach tightened and he winced, irritated by his reaction.

“Georg, will you talk to me?”

Every nerve, every brain cell he had screamed at him to feign sleep. Georg would have rather been anywhere than in that room with Bill right then. But he also knew that there was no getting around this. 

Still facing the wall, he replied softly with his own question.

“What do you want, Bill?”

Georg’s ears were trained to every sound Bill made, his senses were trained to every movement Bill made. He heard a short, shaky sigh and knew Bill was fidgeting.

“I want…I wanted to tell you that…” Bill hesitated, and Georg felt the lightest touch on his hip, “I’m sorry, Georg.”

“For what? You did nothing wrong. I was the one that was wrong.” His voice thick, Georg felt the stinging begin behind his eyes, and buried his face in the pillow. He’d thought he wouldn’t have any tears left, but he’d be damned if he’d let Bill see him cry.

The bed moved again, and suddenly Bill was pressed up against his back, long arm wrapped around Georg’s chest. He felt lips brush the hair over the nape of his neck, and he shuddered. Bill’s breath whispered into his ear.

“No.”

“What?“ Georg stilled, turning his head slightly, just enough to catch that whispered breath on his lips.

“No, you weren’t wrong.”

Georg melted a little in Bill’s hold before he grunted and pulled away.

“No. You can’t do this.” Not sure if he was talking to himself or Bill, Georg turned on his back, sat up on his elbows, and shot a look at the man he loved. Bill looked as miserable as Georg felt. His pale skin was more translucent than usual, his expressive lips were down-turned, his eyes a little puffy. 

Bill sighed and rolled back to stare at the ceiling. Not sure what else to say, what he _could_ say, Georg lay next to him. Neither touched the other, neither so much as breathed too loudly, for fear of scaring the other and breaking this tenuous peace. 

“I didn’t have sex with her.” 

Georg squeezed his eyes shut. “Bill, I saw her—“

“I know.” Bill’s hand inched over and just the side of his finger touched Georg’s hand, “I know, and I’m sorry.” 

The touch of Bill’s hand sent a tingle through him, and Georg stroked his own fingertip down to the edge of Bill’s nail and back. 

“I don’t know how to do this.” Bill laughed softly. “Ironic, isn’t it? All that protesting, but I guess I am just what they think I am.”

Bill’s hand turned and those nails traced Georg’s fingers from below. 

“I didn’t know what to do. I still don’t.” Bill squeezed his hand and Georg turned his head, needing to see Bill’s face, needing to read his eyes. “I just kept thinking, here I am, this big rock star. I could have my pick of almost any of these girls, right?”

Georg nodded.

“But I didn’t want any of them. Even that wasn’t the part that scared me so much.” Bill rolled to his side, holding Georg’s eyes with his own. He took a long, shaky breath, and his voice trembled. “The part that scared me was figuring out that I didn’t want them, Georg, because I’m so in love with you.”

Georg’s eyes flew open wide and it felt like his heart stopped in his chest.

“What?” He couldn’t have heard him right. 

Even with daylight fading fast, Georg could see Bill’s cheeks pinken, and he watched his love duck his chin to his chest. He turned to Bill, laying so close that he could feel the heat radiating from the blushing singer. He propped his head up with one arm, and tried to keep the grin from his face. Thick, unsteady fingers tucked stray strands of Bill’s hair behind his ear, trailed softly down to his smooth chin and gently lifted Bill’s head.

“Tell me that again, Bill.” 

Georg could see that Bill was getting flustered. His eyes shot up to Georg’s, his dark pink tongue darted out to lick his lips, and Georg couldn’t decide where he wanted to look.

“I was wrong, and I was scared, and the girl…” Bill was forgetting to breathe, but he wasn’t stopping, and Georg wasn’t stopping him, “God, I’m sorry I hurt you. I never meant to…and I didn’t have sex with her, I swear!”

Georg wrapped his fingers around the nape of Bill’s neck, his thumb caressing the smooth, sweet spot just under Bill’s ear. “I believe you.”

“And I tried all day to talk to you, tried to get Gustav to make you let me in, and he wouldn’t. I just needed to tell you that I love you. And…”

Bill hesitated and Georg waited.

“And?”

“And I didn’t want you hurting for another minute because I was being stupid. So I…uh, sorta flirted with the girl at the front desk, and she gave me an extra key-card for your room.” The blush on Bill’s cheeks deepened, and Georg had no choice but to grin.

“Bill!” Georg tried to chide his behavior, but the chuckle killed the effect.

“Georg.” 

The smile faded slowly, and he realized suddenly that Bill was so close. So close, they were almost touching.

“Yeah?” 

Bill kissed him. He bridged that small gap left between them, and his lips pressed softly to Georg’s. This time it was Bill making the moves, Bill’s tongue seeking admittance, lapping gently at Georg’s lips. He could never deny Bill anything. He opened up and sucked Bill in.

With a small groan on his breath, Georg pulled Bill on top of him, relishing how anchored the weight made him feel. Bill melted over him, nestling his leg between Georg’s. 

Georg’s hands slid down Bill’s sides, skimmed his hips, squeezing, caressing, touching everywhere he could reach. His fingers finally found the swell of Bill’s ass, and he cupped it, pulling up carefully, making Bill’s cock grind against him. Bill gasped into Georg’s mouth, but when he did it again, Bill moaned and kissed him harder. Their lips crashed together, their tongues exploring, massaging, dueling for control. 

They pulled apart, for just a moment, and Bill nipped at Georg’s full bottom lip. Georg ran his fingers through Bill’s hair, catching his breath. He pulled back, making Bill look him in the eye.

“Are you sure? If we do this, you’re not going to go running from me tomorrow?” He smiled a little, trying to make it into a laugh, but he was much too nervous to pull that off. He wanted this so much, but there was no way he was going to cause any more pain or awkwardness between them.

“Yes, I want this. I want you.” Bill pressed his lips to the palm holding his cheek before leaning down to kiss Georg again. He sat up, legs on either side of his lover’s hips, pulled his tee shirt off and tossed it off the bed. 

Georg lay back, watching Bill, wanting to touch him, knowing once he did, once he touched his alabaster skin, there would be no turning back.

Nothing could have stopped him. Georg sat up with Bill in his lap, wrapped his hands around Bill’s sides, so his fingers brushed his shoulder blades, and rasped his tongue over Bill’s taut nipple. Bill sucked his breath in hard, and his reaction spurred Georg on. Bill’s fingers grasped at his shoulders as Georg drug his teeth softly over the little nub. Finally, he took the whole thing in his mouth, tasting, suckling, teasing, before releasing it to move to Bill’s other nipple.

Bill’s fingers wandered through Georg’s hair, pulling him closer, making him suck and tease his nipple harder, before wrapping his fingers around the silken strands and pulling Georg away from his chest.

Georg looked up at Bill, still in a daze, mouth still open and wet, wondering why they were stopping, He didn’t wonder long, as Bill’s mouth came down on his again, and he felt his tee shirt being lifted off of him. As soon as Bill tossed the shirt away, he kissed his way down Georg’s neck, nipping at his shoulder, tonguing where he bit.

His fingers began to play with the button on Bill’s jeans. 

Bill breathed in his ear. “Yes”

He released the button, unzipped them, and pulled them down as far as he could with Bill sitting on him. Shaky fingers caressed the soft skin over Bill’s hip and belly before gliding around to dip shyly below the denim, then stretching to reach more. 

Georg moved Bill off of him, and lay him down on the bed. He felt the tremor inside his lover as he pulled those jeans further down, his lips following the fabric’s descent. Open kisses dotted their way over Bill’s hip, down his groin, down his thigh, until Georg peeled the jeans over his feet and threw them off the bed. 

His eyes landed on Bill’s hard cock, lying flat and hot on his belly, and the tightness in Georg’s groin became nearly unbearable. Arousal swirled in his belly, barely contained by a touch of fear. Georg knew what he wanted to do. 

He’d never done this before. He’d never touched another man’s cock, let alone what he wanted to do now. But there was Bill, lying so beautiful in front of him, running his fingertips up and down his sides, reaching down and running them over his cock before trailing them back up. Georg’s eyes followed them, then kept going up to lock with Bill’s.

He kept his eyes locked on those dark eyes as he planted his hands on either side of Bill’s hips and licked a long stripe up the underside of Bill’s cock. The noise that came from Bill then was low and deep, prompting Georg to do it again. Bill’s cock twitched and bounced up as Georg’s tongue lathed over the sensitive head. 

Bill’s eyes fluttered shut and white-tipped fingers clawed at the sheets as Georg wrapped a hand around the base of Bill’s cock and slipped the head into his mouth. He slid his lips down further, swirling his tongue over the hot surface, until his lips met his fingers. 

Bill squirmed and moaned louder, making Georg wonder if someone would hear them. Almost as soon as the though occurred to him, he dismissed it. He didn’t care if they did hear them. He was loving Bill, and that was all that mattered at that moment.

Georg moved his hand from Bill’s cock and slid his mouth down as far as it would go, gagging and making his stomach jump just a little when he went to far. He pulled back a bit, squeezing his lips together, sucking hard on the upstroke, lapping at the head, then gliding down the thin, silky skin all the way to the base again. 

He found that he loved how Bill’s cock felt in his mouth. He loved the smooth skin, the hardness underneath, the taste of Bill’s precome weeping from the slit. He loved watching Bill’s face, his head thrown back, mouth open, as he sucked his cock in, made love to it with his lips and tongue. He could have done this for a very long time, if Bill had not grabbed at him, blindly grasping Georg’s head and pulling him up to kiss him hard.

“That was so good.” Bill whispered as he kissed across Georg’s jaw, sucking a little when he moved down to his neck, and Georg knew that the marks of Bill’s territory would be there tomorrow.

“Then why did you make me stop?”

Georg pulled back, feeling Bill’s teeth graze his neck before he was searching his lover’s dusky eyes. Pink touched Bill’s cheeks again, and he tried to hide his face in Georg’s neck, breathing into his ear.

“Because I want more.”

Georg’s stomach flipped and his cock swelled even further in his jeans. He moved to search Bill’s eyes. He had to know, had to make sure that he knew what Bill was asking. The question must have shown in his eyes, because Bill nodded.

“I want…” Bill kissed him again and ran his hands down Georg’s back, fingers dipping inside the waist of Georg’s jeans, grazing the top of Georg’s ass. “I want you inside me.”

The words registered, and Georg growled around Bill’s tongue, lapping at it, sucking on it, before pulling himself out of Bill’s arms. He stood by the bed and quickly pulled the rest of his clothes off, and dug through his duffel bag for his little bottle of lube. He climbed back on the bed and settled himself next to Bill, pressing his hot erection into Bill’s thigh.

Bill sighed at the warmth and reached down to wrap his fingers around Georg’s swollen cock while he lazily caressed his own. Georg’s breath hitched as Bill stroked him slowly.

He loved what Bill’s fingers were doing to him, but he really wanted to be inside him. He wanted to make love to Bill. So he stilled Bill’s hand and guided him to spread his legs wide. 

Georg was drinking in everything he saw in front of him. Bill, looking completely debauched, splayed out in front of him. His thighs, so white and smooth. Hard cock being stroked so slowly and tentatively by manicured fingers that dipped down to caress and cup his balls before gliding back up to run his nails up the underside of his cock. 

Several times, Georg covered his fingers in lube and brought them to Bill’s opening. He knew he would need a lot if he didn’t want to hurt Bill, so he slathered it around generously. He gently slipped one finger into Bill, and his lover gasped, hanging onto Georg’s arm and burying his face in his neck. 

So slowly, so gently, Georg moved his finger inside of him. He stroked carefully, and moved his finger further with each stroke. He drizzled on more lube and added a second finger.

Bill tensed for a few tough moments before relaxing enough to let the fingers thrust into him smoothly. The third finger took a little longer to adjust to, but when Georg turned his palm up and curled his fingers to brush against the little bundle of nerves, Bill made a low noise in the back of his throat, and thrust up on Georg’s fingers.

Georg slowly pulled his fingers out of Bill, smiling a little at his lover’s whine of protest. He positioned himself between Bill’s legs and slathered lube over the length of his cock, giving it a couple quick strokes that made thighs tense. 

He found Bill’s eyes again, and his heart leapt at the love shining there. He hoped that Bill could read the same in his, because he didn’t know if he’d ever felt anything so powerful in his life as being poised over the top of this exotic beauty that had stolen his heart. 

Georg’s bumped the head of his cock against Bill’s opening, and he could feel the heat that waited for him inside. He held his breath, and as he sank deeper into Bill’s eyes, he sank himself into Bill’s flesh.

~~~ooo~~~

Georg’s eyes drifted open, and he blinked a few times before he could focus. Sunlight streamed into the room through a crack in the curtains, beaming a warm column across the bed. 

He stretched a little, feeling the ache in his muscles, and tightened his arm around Bill. He couldn’t help but gaze at him, brushing away the hair that tickled Bill’s cheek, trailing a finger down his neck, stroking soft flesh, wrapping his arm around him and hold him close.

Bill’s eyes fluttered open then closed again. He hummed and planted sleepy kisses up Georg’s chest, finally opening his eyes as he lay a tender kiss on his lover’s lips.

“Bill.” Georg couldn’t keep the grin from his face.

“Yeah?” A smile grew on Bill’s lips, and he raised his brows with the question.

Georg pulled his head back down so Bill’s lips were just hovering over his. 

“I love you.” 

Bill grinned bigger and tried to kiss him. They realized how hard it is to try to smile and kiss at the same time, and ended up puffing breaths of laughter into each other.

“You know we have an interview today, right?” Bill’s voice was muffled in his neck, and the vibration made Georg giggle and push Bill’s face away.

“I know. I just don’t want to leave this bed.” Bill pulled himself from Georg’s arms and nibbled down Georg’s belly before sliding out of bed. 

“I’m going to shower and pack. Meet me when you’re done, and we’ll go down together, okay?” Bill pulled his pants up and fastened them, looking around for his tee shirt. He found it and pulled it over his head. He leaned down to kiss Georg one more time before leaving. Georg grabbed the back of his neck and deepened the kiss, sucking Bill’s lips, nibbling on them until Bill was moaning and ready to climb back in bed. Georg pulled away to murmur against Bill’s lips.

“I’ll meet you in twenty minutes.” 

Bill grunted at him, but the twinkle in his eye belied his irritation. He was out the door before Georg had thrown the covers back.

~~~ooo~~~

Half an hour later, Georg finished jamming his dirty clothes into his duffel bag and looked around to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything. He decided he had everything he needed and opened the door to the hall.

He had everything he needed but the most important thing. As he raised his fist to knock on Bill’s door, it opened, and Bill stood before him. Georg heard the door to Gustav’s room open, and the low mumble of the drummer’s ‘hello‘, but he couldn’t take his eyes from Bill’s beautiful smile. 

Bill gave a little wave to Gustav, and Georg turned to look at his friend. He grinned and nodded to him, hoping he would understand. 

A slow smiled bloomed on Gustav’s face

Bill slipped his hand into Georg’s, and squeezed it as they turned and walked toward the elevator.


End file.
